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"Lying, foul-mouthed male!" Wonder Woman screamed."It's not like that, at all, my sisters. I've been into the World of Men and I've seen how it really is. Your 'partner' will likely be drunk, have a three day's growth of beard and a big belly from swilling wine. His idea of foreplay will be to tell you you've got great hooters and make a grab. As you try to fight the slob off, he'll rip your tights. If you're smart you'll knee him in the balls and send him slinking back to his cave. If not, he'll poke you with his prick, thrust it in a couple of times until her comes, and immediately go to sleep." Oh, and our 'divine messenger' left out a few other things, too. Between the 'poke and shoot' and the 'little lips suckling at your breast' - yikes� come nine months of weight gain, nausea, waddling like a duck, tit's so big you get back strain, and giving birth itself, which is no picnic."A commotion ensued in which the younger Amazons, thought they'd like to accept the god's offer, or at. Billy was deemed firm but fair by everyone. He was certainly very understanding when I couldn’t start my contract on the date he’d suggested. I’d my yearly ‘Lads in Lanzarote’ boozefest already booked for the first week in August, and Boyd’s are one of the dying breed of local businesses in Northern Ireland who still insist on the traditional Twelfth Fortnight in July be taken as non-negotiable annual leave, plus a week in September, imaginatively titled The September Week. No choice. Building gets cleared, doors locked. Away and have a holiday for yourself. Mind you, they are also one of the last bastions of the wee brown holiday pay envelope, tax free cash, so that eases any resulting inconvenience a fair bit. As usual I forego the prayer option, stretch my lanky legs beyond the long kneeling stool and allow my mind to wander, just as the final strains of the opening hymn begin to fade out. Brunette has nice ankles and dainty feet. White lily’s smell like death. Billy hadn’t struck.
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